tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77047655627934418732012-01-29T07:16:24.776-05:00© All Rights ReservedBo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.comBlogger4881100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-45931584059646884112012-01-07T23:31:00.000-05:002012-01-07T23:37:35.465-05:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-75090071821315644562011-12-27T05:55:00.000-05:002011-12-27T06:03:54.500-05:00

Over the past few years your Editorial Waterboard have published some inappropriate pictures and feeble attempts at humor for those whom we thought might share a similar outlook on life: foecal myopia. Unfortunately this now appears not to have been the case and we seem to have upset a number of alleged people who have accused us of being sexist, shallow, unfeeling, bulletproof, shitfaced,

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-14739641146016468802011-12-21T02:43:00.000-05:002011-12-21T02:43:18.679-05:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-69881481730261153612011-12-08T13:56:00.001-05:002011-12-08T14:01:10.556-05:00

Tribal TV News Service:

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-14543383212734268632011-12-01T20:12:00.001-05:002011-12-01T20:43:18.453-05:00

We hear organ music. Not saying whose but we hear it, signalling the start of another exciting episode of the Soap that's taken the world of handwringing innumeracy by Sturm und Drang: "As The Euro Turns," starring Brittany Spears as Angela Merkel, Paris Hilton as Christine LaGarde, PeeWee Herman as Nicky Sarkozy, WH Auden as George Papadopoulos and David Marvin Mailer as Silvio Berlusconi. The

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-90432542694358202452011-11-14T02:00:00.001-05:002011-11-14T21:26:29.982-05:00

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. The town folk heard they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply, which in Scotland is...unusual. They journeyed to the land of Robbie Burns, discovered the inhabitants had ransacked the local distillery and were drunker even than the Irish, bought the cow cheaply and returned to Eire. The cow was, comment on dit, Awesome. Yes.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-27150292339297368042011-11-03T06:28:00.005-04:002011-11-03T06:54:10.905-04:00

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Barrett,We regret to inform you that your son passed away inside a short time hotel in a well-known adult entertainment area of Bangkok. Although we realize this news will come as a terrible shock to you, you may take comfort in knowing that your son did not die alone but was comforted by those he loved. (Please see enclosed invoices from Mlles. Lek and Noy.)We are assured by

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-89286430190036300712011-10-30T03:54:00.003-04:002011-10-30T04:10:10.049-04:00

Siggy: Give me three packets of ribbed, lubricated extra large condoms, bitte.Cashier: Jawohl, Herr Doktor! Would you like that with a perfectly anonymous, plain brown paper bag?Siggy: Not necessary. She's not that ugly..

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-941323418217819202011-10-15T02:00:00.003-04:002011-10-15T02:08:53.384-04:00

I met a young woman in the park the other evening.There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay making love, I thought "Y'know. These taser guns are well worth the money.".

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-23359270725819355802011-10-12T06:19:00.005-04:002011-10-12T06:51:23.819-04:00

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the husband passes gas and says: "Seven Points."His wife rolls over and says, "What the hell are you doing?"The old man replies, "It's Fart Football."A few minutes later his wife lets one rip and says "Touchdown! Tie score."Five minutes later, the husband releases a violation of the Geneva Convention and says, "Aha! I'm ahead, 14 to 7." Not to

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-11217195666803895922011-10-10T09:43:00.006-04:002011-10-10T10:27:19.133-04:00

I. I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas and a jumbo sausage. A wretch of a homeless man sitting on the pavement said, "I've not eaten for two days." I told him: "I wish I had your will power."II. I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-36957290261943169752011-09-27T17:05:00.008-04:002011-09-27T17:21:43.710-04:00

Elton and David had their sperm mixed together and a carefully selected (human) surrogate mother was artificially inseminated. When the baby was born, the proud new parents were ushered into the post-natal ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of them crying and screaming. In the corner, however, one baby was lying quietly in total serenity.A nurse approached the enthralled

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-37280821853079723362011-09-27T03:03:00.006-04:002011-09-27T03:18:38.150-04:00

I.My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. Can you believe that? 2:30am? Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.II.Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife's dead." The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing's building up." III.I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest cock she'd ever laid her hands

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-30545990952572243332011-09-24T17:36:00.001-04:002011-09-24T17:38:35.467-04:00

.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-59943448896781565292011-09-19T11:17:00.000-04:002011-09-20T11:33:16.213-04:00

I. Guy walks into the psychiatrist's office and says, "I'm coming apart here, Doc. I think I'm a teepee. I think I'm a wigwam.""Relax. You're two tents."II.The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist: "You are neurotically obsessed with your daughter's nymphomania. I'm prescribing Xanax which you should ingest whenever you feel like it." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-31824181604139272262011-09-16T00:13:00.000-04:002011-09-17T09:01:49.883-04:00

Begin by showing that you truly care for her as a Person. Gently touch her on the hand..

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-21090050128700679662011-09-15T06:18:00.004-04:002011-09-15T06:31:55.551-04:00

A bus on a busy street struck a Catholic jaywalker knocking him clear over the curb. He was lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathered."A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasped.Long seconds dragged on but no one stepped out of the crowd.A cop arrived on the scene, scanned the crowd and finally yelled, "A PRIEST PLEASE! Isn't there a priest in this crowd to give this man his

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-65917449145261281072011-09-14T01:21:00.006-04:002011-09-14T01:58:45.046-04:00

As select members of the readership may be aware, Mostly Big Dave has been covertly embedded in a hot-sheet motel just outside Tehran whence he has filed this moving plea against the inhumanity of these savages: I can honestly say, I never want to see an image like this again. If this doesn't bring tears to your eyes you have no soul. Is their no limit to their cruelty?Some of them were 15 years

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-61287970228104920562011-09-05T03:35:00.004-04:002011-09-05T22:55:17.105-04:00

Sadly, Steve was born without ears. Though he proved spectacularly successful in business, his deformity was a source of great personal sorrow. However, on the advice of his psychoanalyst, he never shrank from the issue and always came to terms with it in the course of running his fledgling black box LDCA (Long Distance Charge Avoider) business.One day he had to hire a new Executive V.P. who

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-87609781732837283422011-09-01T22:22:00.005-04:002011-09-01T22:38:47.012-04:00

An armed robber wearing a full balaclava burst into a Wisconsin bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. A brave customer grabbed the mask and pulled it completely off, revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer dead without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber immediately

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-68322529644020588642011-08-25T22:39:00.009-04:002011-08-26T03:20:50.029-04:00

By unpopular demand, the following specimens of Aussie humor are published because the bloody cheapskytes wouldn't shout the Managing Eddidah another six coldies without it. I. I found my dyslexic mate covering his dick with boot polish in the early hours of the Sunday morning at the conclusion of daylight savings. I said, “Bloody idiot! You’re supposed to turn your clock back!” II. Some

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-63547058656425305222011-08-24T23:23:00.003-04:002011-08-24T23:31:21.837-04:00

for Susan Mary Hagger night telephime reely reel? Hadder Y. Noah Fimere? Car sigh only nowered I thing ky feel, An maybe I'm knotty veneer. I mipey no lesson I mipey no more Than a shadder we idle fancy. Prabzyme the moon! Can I Telfer Shaw That I'm nodgers a nant named Nancy? I coobie jar sreely a loafer bread, Or a horse, or a bird called Gloria. I mipey alive - but I coobie dead,

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-25180565650354494152011-08-21T10:00:00.004-04:002011-08-21T10:16:34.281-04:00

A wageslave stumbles home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his wife who is most definitely not happy. "Where the HELL have you been all night?" she demands. "At this new bar!" he slurs. "The Golden Saloon! Everything there is golden! It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor and even the urinal's gold!" The wife doesn't believe this story at all. The

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-12212467154663618622011-08-18T22:21:00.006-04:002011-08-18T22:43:05.890-04:00

After both suffering from severe depression, my wife and I decided to commit suicide yesterday. Strangely enough, after she'd killed herself, I inexplicably sensed a source of new strength that came over me from out of nowhere. "This is gonna be tough," I admitted to myself. "But somehow I've found the grit within to carry on." "After all. Tomorrow is another day." .

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-74637021715534500572011-08-05T07:50:00.015-04:002011-08-06T00:28:22.922-04:00

JOCOP News ServiceSeward, NebraskaAugust 4, 2011Claiming he wasn't afraid to let everyone in attendance know about "the real mess we're in," Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke reportedly got drunk Tuesday and told everyone at Elwood's Corner Tavern about how absolutely fucked the U.S. economy actually is.Bernanke, who sources confirmed was "totally sloshed," arrived at the drinking

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-14803268520969842382011-08-03T22:57:00.013-04:002011-08-04T02:15:00.613-04:00

MEL GIBSON'S APOCALYPTO (WIDESCREEN EDITION) DVDBungle in the JungleMel Gibson's feral little fever-dream "Apocalypto" is truly what you call heart-rending drama.No, dummy. It's not a chick flick. I mean it's heart-rending if you're one of the prisoners that get hauled back to Tikal, painted bright blue, marched up the blood-soaked steps of some Mayan Temple, has his heart ripped out by the

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-31264800079560440092011-08-03T22:00:00.006-04:002011-08-04T02:41:46.048-04:00

JOCOP News ServiceAugust 3, 2011Apple Inc. (NASDAQ:AAPL) announced today that it has developed a computer chip together with nanotechnology that can play high fidelity media in women's breast implants.The "iTit" will cost between $499 and $699 depending on woofer ("boom box") specification. Designed at Apple's campus in Hindutino, California, the iTit will be manufactured in toto at the Foxconn

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-3167346450882880572011-08-03T00:17:00.004-04:002011-08-03T01:01:56.786-04:00

.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-46990342689874809592011-08-01T23:38:00.008-04:002011-08-03T00:14:52.354-04:00

At one time, San Francisco de Assisi was the most ethnically mongrel, beautiful, laissez-faire, jazz-ridden, hard-drinking city in the former USSA. It is now under occupation by a mere three tribes who have outlawed breathing.After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate exam by the National Health Service, a guy decided to have his next test carried out while visiting friends

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-59302793052634223692011-07-31T01:11:00.003-04:002011-08-01T02:04:23.870-04:00

A country walks into a bar and seats itself on a stool. The bartender looks at it and says, "What'll it be, buddy?"The country says, "Set me up with seven shots o' Cutty and make 'em doubles." The bartender does this and watches the country slug one down, then the next, then the next and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-3216306594713973532011-07-30T15:50:00.010-04:002011-07-31T01:07:40.900-04:00

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed that he was white from the neck to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over, he called his doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor hauled ass to the White House.After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack and told

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-60580657156357097322011-07-29T22:43:00.002-04:002011-07-29T23:23:24.005-04:00

Music by Randy Newman..

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-29149000616543943812011-07-29T02:44:00.007-04:002011-07-30T17:03:05.660-04:00

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties--you know, just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone--"to relax" I told myself--but I knew it wasn't true.Thinking became more and more important to me. Finally, I was thinking all the time: it had taken over my life. That was when things

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-84829989935880586102011-07-29T02:31:00.005-04:002011-07-30T18:35:01.167-04:00

In an attempt to bolster plummeting ratings, Rubert Murdoch's Fox TV is reported to be developing a Texas version of "Survivor," the popular TV show.Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock. Each will be driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: "I voted for Obama. I'm gay. And I'm here to

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-77782830679310841532011-07-29T01:43:00.005-04:002011-07-29T02:05:02.330-04:00

1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people buy cigarettes at the front.4. Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries and a diet

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-28571416879457147652011-07-25T08:40:00.002-04:002011-07-25T09:59:15.819-04:00

A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk.Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep." "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep." When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep."Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's wife because she may

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-63018032362064163112011-07-25T02:22:00.005-04:002011-07-25T02:31:05.117-04:00

Or How To Stab Your "Best Friends" In The Back. Photographically..

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-83072431509405759672011-07-16T23:35:00.000-04:002011-07-17T03:18:21.480-04:00

A visiting professor is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" It is just before the first in a series of financial meltdowns, they are all MBA candidates and it's the dawn of New Old Age 21st century: 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a good start," says the tenured academic. "Out of those of you who

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-87491655421824446822011-07-16T22:50:00.005-04:002011-07-18T06:05:57.337-04:00

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and Goodbye Grandpa."The father asked: "Why did you say goodbye Grandpa, honey?"The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."The next day grandpa died.The father thought it was a strange

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-48372026973303035542011-07-05T02:50:00.000-04:002011-07-04T21:48:30.653-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-68891558233362988202011-06-29T03:50:00.006-04:002011-06-29T06:08:00.632-04:00

HOW TO TALK TO A LIBERAL (IF YOU MUST) by Ann CoulterWhen saying "here Fido---good dog" is not an optionOK, let's be clear on this: Coulter's latest little round of lib-bait-&-smash isn't an instruction manual, or even a primer on what a good American conservative can use as snappy comebacks & snarky rejoinders to liberal dunderheadedness, not at all.It's like that Alien diplomacy primer back in

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-38233604970668069652011-06-28T23:14:00.003-04:002011-06-29T01:38:20.742-04:00

At the end of the tax year the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.While checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?""Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.""Uh huh," replied the

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-78945830866604901452011-06-27T02:56:00.004-04:002011-06-27T03:20:47.919-04:00

Barack and Michelle are at the White Sox game.Sitting in the first row with the rest of the Secret Service, Team Leader leans forward and says something to The President. Barack stares at Team Leader a good minute; then looks at Michelle; then looks back at the agent and shakes his head. Violently.The agent says: "Mr. President, it was a unanimous request--from the owner of the team down to the

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-32980715971530565742011-06-25T03:41:00.000-04:002011-06-27T03:22:37.102-04:00

The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when the starboard wing was struck by lightning.One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, "OH MY SWEET JESUS, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!Then, recovering slightly, she yelled: "If I have to die, I want my last moments to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?!"

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-63834941629617699532011-06-24T01:01:00.000-04:002011-06-27T03:23:23.729-04:00

Guy walks into a saloon, there's a robot bartender shining a tumbler.The robot says, "Yessir. What'll it be?"The customer says, "Martini."The robot brings back the best martini the customer's ever tasted. Then the robotender says to the customer: "Pardon me for prying, Sir, but might I inquire what your IQ is?"The guy says, "168."The robot launches into a discussion of Quantum Mechanics, Freud's

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-17498115592700118522011-06-04T22:11:00.008-04:002011-06-04T22:59:58.684-04:00

The Journal announces the appointment of Mr James Stephen Garrett as Executive VP, Humanities Marketing. Posthumously.MEIN KAMPFDown & Out in Bavaria HillsSeptember 3, 2007Achtung, Baby!Mein Kampf has a nasty reputation. When it comes right down to it, Mein Kampf is a bad dog, a bad, bad dawg. If Mein Kampf were human, it would be the balding forty-year old guy with the canting glass eye who

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-25947746474289638182011-06-02T23:46:00.005-04:002011-06-02T23:59:11.741-04:00

Little Johnny asked Mom what two new words meant that kids at school were using: "Pussy" and "Bitch."Mom inhaled sharply but quickly recovered: "Oh, that's easy. A pussy is a cat like our little Chico. And a bitch is a female dog, like our beloved Hillary....""Thanks, Mom."Johnny, ever the autodidact, then went in search of his father who, as usual, was drinking 'secretly' in the garage."Dad,

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-24547956101640384492011-05-14T22:18:00.000-04:002011-05-14T22:18:00.613-04:00

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.The waitress asks them for their orders.The man says, "Hamburger, fries and a coke." He turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?""I'll have the same," says the ostrich.A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That'll be $9.40 please."The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.The next

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-68479348627440526072011-05-14T07:52:00.010-04:002011-05-14T12:02:49.952-04:00

One day, in line at the cubefarm cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like a sonofabitch. I guess I'd better go see a doctor.""Listen," says Mike, "you don't have to spend that kind of money. There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco™. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will diagnosis the problem and prescribe the remedy--it takes ten seconds and costs $9.99--a

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-4080629934857978362011-05-12T07:20:00.000-04:002011-05-13T16:52:07.986-04:00

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."The teacher said, "That was good, Molly, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,'not 'fascinating.'”Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to The Creation Museum and I was 'fascinated.'"The

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-63337705851304188182011-05-12T00:39:00.000-04:002011-05-13T16:52:07.529-04:00

JOCOP News ServiceMay 8, 2011Bin Laden Given Religious Funeral Prior to Sea BurialOsama bin Laden was given a religious funeral prior to his burial at sea, senior military officials told Al-Jazeera.Religious rites were conducted on the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson at about 1:10 a.m. Monday in the Persian Gulf. In accordance with Islamic practice, bin Laden was washed and wrapped

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-86230016246458717642011-05-09T09:31:00.001-04:002011-05-09T09:34:12.488-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-21642498228421692932011-05-06T08:34:00.006-04:002011-05-06T08:46:00.926-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-66961189839330109142011-04-30T02:21:00.003-04:002011-04-30T02:24:19.938-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-59203428615924032402011-04-19T09:13:00.003-04:002011-04-19T09:13:00.194-04:00

.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-55992477829648097412011-04-18T15:32:00.006-04:002011-04-19T04:35:36.914-04:00

Four Texans have been going to the same deer camp for many years.Two days before the group is to leave, Pat's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.Pat's buddies are pretty upset he can't go--but what can they do?Two days later the three hunters return to the camp site after murdering Bambi only to find Pat sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered and chili (no beans)

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-47808215176696487752011-04-18T02:08:00.003-04:002011-04-18T02:25:38.065-04:00

A volcano erupts with a colossal explosion. Scientists predict that within three days, unprecedented tsunamis will flood the entire earth and place all existing land under water.The Pope appears on television and encourages everyone to accept Jesus Christ immediately so that at least their immortal souls will be saved.The world's foremost Muslim imam also appears on TV--ecstatic--and demands

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-50581306452698392722011-03-19T16:54:00.009-04:002011-03-19T17:28:35.860-04:00

At 85 years of age, Roger marries Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms because she is concerned that her new but decrepit husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-56727479745410431052011-03-12T07:21:00.008-05:002011-03-21T05:59:25.662-04:00

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana when he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty: "Talking Dog For Sale." He pulls up to the shack, rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.The guy walks around to the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever standing there."You talk?" the man inquires."I give it my best shot," the lab replies.The

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-46401911120505112722010-12-18T22:14:00.015-05:002011-03-28T05:16:53.140-04:00

Ted Steveley reminds us of a time when uncensored, analog TV and heavy daytime drinking originally begat the term "multitasking."Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness.Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?A. Charley Weaver:

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-55478324941104084632010-11-22T23:17:00.005-05:002011-02-11T05:22:04.957-05:00

Two weeks before the Crash, an American investment banker whose Hummer had broken down found himself stranded in the middle of Mexican nowhere for a day. Out of contact with the office, he strolled dazed and aimless through the pathetically quiet, still undiscovered village on the coast. Finding himself at the village's single pier, he observed a small boat approach with just a single fisherman

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-89777664787199000242010-09-04T23:48:00.004-04:002010-09-05T00:26:37.268-04:00

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out in the Plymouth, park and make love for the first time.The boy is immediately euphoric but he has never had sex before, with another person, so he makes a trip to the pharmacist to get some

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-9811545689870670422010-08-24T00:49:00.004-04:002010-08-24T01:03:53.423-04:00

Pall Nosiree, renowned automotive authority and traditional 'four-on-the-floor' technician, recently had his star removed from the wall in Langley, VA. Ooops.A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-1925161647145115522010-07-14T05:37:00.004-04:002010-07-15T07:12:23.819-04:00

With thanks to Darrin H. of australianidentity.net.Siddiqui (of the otherwise commercially profligate but in this instance strictly non-alcohol Siddiquies) arrived in Sydney and was barely six weeks into target acquisition when he fell critically ill.He went to doctor after doctor, but none of the unbelievers were of any use.Desperate, he had no choice but to turn to his contacts in the State

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-59211521567531981812010-07-12T11:47:00.003-04:002010-07-12T11:51:57.526-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-72576569008690130972010-07-11T06:49:00.001-04:002010-07-11T07:37:49.624-04:00

A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and orders him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase."The Scotsman responds: "I ha'not, I want a ha'p'ny fare, just got on this vera moment."They

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-54231234887320402552010-07-09T01:14:00.011-04:002010-07-09T01:53:16.025-04:00

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked."Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen.""So I approached the largest and most heavily

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-40361745979111668962010-07-08T08:00:00.010-04:002010-07-10T04:07:08.544-04:00

For Christopher Hitchens and Allan TurnerThe nurse with the ass that made you want to shoot yourself approached the derelict, smiled and said, "Doctor see you now."She helped him up out of the chair and escorted him down the corridor to the surgery.Inside, seated behind the desk, sat the normally cheerful Dr Busapavanich who did not look happy. Stenberg managed a wai but the doctor waved it away

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-40729467257625809902010-07-04T17:43:00.001-04:002010-07-05T15:51:02.829-04:00

Une francaise walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a glass of wine. She looks about and can't help noticing a camel sitting at the bar.The woman inquires of the patron: "What is that filthy camel doing in here?"Without hesitation, the patron pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar, hits the camel firmly up alongside the head and the camel obediently gives the landlord oral

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-53708549267454460492010-07-03T06:37:00.002-04:002010-07-12T12:16:36.144-04:00

In response to an inadvertently amusing article in "Time's Up Magazine" on Indian-American humor, WisdomoftheEast, a resident of Hindutino, California and inventor of the original and ever-popular Vodkaburger™ ("Hold the beef! Eat the sauce!"™), has forwarded this previously little-known account of a diplomatic incident which took place during the Cold War:When Mrs. Gandhi went to Moscow,

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-42892052429981426122010-06-30T06:03:00.011-04:002010-07-01T15:10:06.978-04:00

Joe is telling his pal Rick his troubles:"You know that new girl at work, the one I've been wanting to ask out?" he inquires."Yeah, what about her?" Rick replies."Well, every time I see her, I get an instant hard-on and have to turn away to hide it.""Jesus, that's tough. Why don't you try taping your dick to your leg--then it won't show," Rick suggests.Joe agrees this is a great idea; Rick even

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-123840208063423202010-06-29T02:55:00.000-04:002010-07-01T02:59:57.435-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-13367479972874527172010-06-25T19:54:00.003-04:002010-06-25T20:10:10.718-04:00

.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-87866109903855007932010-06-25T01:46:00.001-04:002010-06-25T01:46:01.051-04:00

I.When my husband and I arrived at the automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked inside the car. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey!" I exclaimed to the technician, "

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-76944748123606018712010-06-24T16:21:00.000-04:002010-06-24T16:21:00.795-04:00

An ancient seaman by the name of Morgan, on the beach for many years, dons his old uniform and heads for the docks one last time to pay his final respects to Neptune.At a public bar, he soon engages a professional woman who is not destined for a corporate VP slot and follows her ample lead up the stairwell to the short time facility in what appears to be the port's least fashionable hotel.In due

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-66369222511009920852010-06-24T12:07:00.008-04:002010-06-24T12:29:30.266-04:00

A Scotsman and a Jew went to a restaurant.After a hearty meal, the waitress came by with the inevitable check.To the amazement of all, the Scotsman was heard to say, "I'll pay it!" and he actually did.The next morning's newspaper carried the news item:"JEWISH VENTRILOQUIST FOUND MURDERED IN BLIND ALLEY.".

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-31837392129143673342010-06-17T08:13:00.007-04:002010-06-19T12:24:13.011-04:00

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in for?"The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm nervous as a whore in church."The first kid says, "No problem, dawg. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you all the ice cream

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-83314758891328556172010-06-10T20:18:00.002-04:002010-06-10T20:23:46.998-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-80270219792715735872010-05-22T05:04:00.006-04:002010-05-25T09:11:50.769-04:00

JOCOP News Service, AthensMay 23, 2010The world of unemployed photo-journalists was stunned by the upset victory of S. Revitz in the 74th Annual Motherfucker of the Year competition. Srevitz, well-known columnist for The Journal of Contemporary Opinion, scraped through with a bare 42% majority, beating out, but not off, better-financed, consultant-laden competitors including David "Son of Sam"

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-28240895751571890682010-04-27T11:39:00.005-04:002010-04-27T11:47:28.784-04:00

Three construction workers, an Irishman, an Italian and a Jew, are building a skyscraper. They're sitting on a beam having lunch when the Irishman takes out his sandwich and says, "I can't believe it! My wife gave me another goddam roast beef sandwich. If she does this again I'm going to jump off this building!"The Italian takes out his sandwich and says, "Tuna! For God's sakes, I hate tuna. If

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-89650338519164713052010-04-27T03:04:00.004-04:002010-04-27T03:57:31.607-04:00

An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-72078404645370456052010-04-09T11:18:00.003-04:002010-04-09T11:27:27.504-04:00

.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-57920484012425668142010-04-05T04:24:00.002-04:002010-04-05T23:20:58.028-04:00

An obscure Congressman wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor enters and says, "Aha! I see you've regained consciousness, Senator. That's excellent. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a head-on collision with a trailer tractor driven by a Democrat on the Santa Monica freeway. Don't worry--you're going to be alright, you'll walk again, you may even play the

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-41837319282748908122010-04-02T02:16:00.006-04:002010-04-03T00:59:57.411-04:00

An otherwise fine, upstanding chain-smoking alcoholic geriatric falls prey to the usual Myocardial Infarction and requires immediate heart-bypass surgery.He awakens in the ICU to find himself in the care of nuns at Our Lady of the Evening Hospital.As he lays there exhausted, a nun approaches and, in the spirit of Love and Forgiveness inherent to her creed, inquires kindly: "Do you have health

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-28881386247527806902010-04-01T14:18:00.006-04:002010-04-01T15:25:06.544-04:00

An escaped con on the lam breaks into a suburban house to look for money and guns. The mortgage on the house is 200k underwater so, unbeknownst to the escapee, he is actually just looking for guns....or a good time.Inside the master bedroom, he finds the man and wife asleep on their Slumberville mattress which they'll finish paying off in 2015 in the unlikely event either one is still

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-72282523118191826322010-03-28T20:01:00.010-04:002010-03-29T01:57:32.025-04:00

The pulchritudinous Salty Slivers entered the dental surgery with the customary trepidation.The dental assistant took care of the preliminaries with all the efficiencies known to Lesbos.Then the great man himself strode merrily into the surgery, flashed the customer a rictus of blinding fluorescence and, approaching the reclined dental chair, inquired: "And how are we this morning, then?"

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-57834517456174520292010-03-28T19:57:00.003-04:002010-03-29T01:49:29.345-04:00

.

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-66633712139660727342010-03-23T03:29:00.004-04:002010-03-23T03:38:59.069-04:00

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past..

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-6502531758434284972010-03-18T00:57:00.004-04:002010-03-18T01:05:07.130-04:00

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and before he could get a word out, said, "Listen up, you smooth-talking sonofabitch. I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean.... It doesn't matter to me. I've

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-2022460126308449462010-03-16T12:59:00.002-04:002010-03-16T13:44:02.675-04:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-71658247809346387962010-02-25T09:43:00.006-05:002010-02-25T10:15:11.418-05:00

A burglar broke into a house one night. He scanned the room with his flashlight, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark spoke:"Jesus knows you're here."He nearly jumped out of his skin. He doused the flashlight immediately, then froze.When he'd heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head to clear his mind, then continued searching with the flashlight.Just as he'd pulled the stereo

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-1840864000924321072010-02-17T21:51:00.009-05:002010-03-23T03:21:39.328-04:00

As David Marvin Mailer awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic Henny Youngman.Badumpbump.I.What's the difference between light and hard?You can sleep with a light on.II.A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"Lady behind the till fetches a KitKat Chunky and places it on the counter."No," says the man, "I

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-66329273809796447592010-02-10T22:30:00.006-05:002010-02-10T22:47:03.967-05:00

I.I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a shit."II.When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.III.My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, "Get this out of

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-37615327845569056602010-02-07T23:45:00.002-05:002010-02-08T00:16:42.690-05:00

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-9123263339125904102010-01-21T01:18:00.006-05:002010-01-21T01:40:21.824-05:00

JOCOP News Service, January 21, 2010, Riyadh.The American Dental Association shook the American mental health community this morning with its announcement that previously unreleased double blind/placebo-based clinical trials now reveal the most under-diagnosed disease in the continental US, including Guam, is Repat Remorse.The famed Srevitz Clinic™ of Minneapolis, MN immediately released its

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-11531526875262022262010-01-20T23:34:00.002-05:002010-01-20T23:46:43.791-05:00

The 16 year old girl approaches her mother for an old fashioned heart-to heart while Mom is preparing the mashed potatoes to go with the meatloaf at the nuclear family repast which occurs every evening without fail, just after "Ozzie and Harriet.""Mom, I had a question...?""Why, sure, Hon. What's on your mind?""Well, I was just wondering if you can get pregnant if you have anal sex.""Of course

Bo Stenberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444537264450496900noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704765562793441873.post-66572415248843583212010-01-20T23:22:00.003-05:002010-01-20T23:32:58.801-05:00

Ole and Sven are drinking buddies who work as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport is fogged in and they're stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. So Ole says, "By gor, I vish ve had somethin ta drink!" Sven says, "Me too! Y'know, I hear you can drink dat yet fuel and get a buzz. Ya vanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane and get totally

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Once upon a time there was a man so hideous in visage that he made Nancy Pelosi look like a normal guy.So, this ugly man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face and orders a draft beer."What are you so happy about?" asks the barman."Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks? Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the

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The Journal's Far East Bureau Chief, David Marvin Mailer, now reports on the events leading up to the unprecedented $74.2 million bonus awarded by SPRT management to Frank Polisczeschwski, Executive VP for Sperm/Lubricant Coordination in connection with his negotiation of the six-month, fast-track, cost-plus-whatever contract for SPRT's recycling project pursuant to the following incident in New

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Mike Rashoff reports from the nation's capitol on the FDA's approval of Fukitol, followed by an immediate retroactive upgrade by Moody's and S&P of its manufacturer, Fuck You PLC, eleven years after its introduction.Fuck You have since noted that the ad campaign will be amended to delete the reference to "Job Suck?". Meanwhile, the National Arts Council has updated Rudyard Kipling's classically

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