The Best Undiscovered Entertainer in the World

Don Parton used to tell this one at the bar in Chuck’s Steak House (R.I.P.) across the street from Bluor Utah (R.I.P.) in San Rateo (R.I.P.). It was forwarded by Bo Stenberg who was there.

An agent standing on Vine St. checks his watch, sees he has an hour to kill before his meeting in the Capitol Building, so he slips into one of the bars around the corner on Hollywood Blvd., one he's never been to before, and inside it's a piano bar. He takes a seat, orders a double VO, and the pianist commences playing and then starts to sing.

At first, the agent can't believe his ears. But then as the pianist keeps going from song to song, he just can't contain himself.

"Jesus H. Christ!" he says, "you are one great entertainer. I mean really great. I can't understand why you're working in this place, you oughta be playing Carnegie Hall."

"I couldn't agree more," replies the entertainer. "I guess I just haven't had the big break yet. But my time will come."

"Maybe it's come already," says the agent, holding out his business card bearing the name of the biggest talent agency in town. "Say, that last number you sang, that was just beautiful, I can't get the tune outta my mind. What's it called?"

"That one? That was 'I Love You So Fucking Much I Can't Shit.'"