Dear Flabby

Mike Rashoff has filed a notarized affidavit to the effect he is not the author of this moving epistolary equivalent of two and half weeks worth of high colonic lavage with a fire hose.

Dear Flabby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a
carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters
lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite with syphilis.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters who are oral
prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at
Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three
children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview. She is currently a part-time "working girl."

My problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family.

I want to be totally open and honest with her.

My question is, should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary for
President?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation