Head Shot

The Journal is pleased to advise the readership that S. Revitz, our Wholistic Jiveass Intergalactic Bureau Chief is alive and well after surviving the Colorado Springs shootout whereby a Mujahedeen for Jesus blew away rival Jihadis for Christ in an internecine religious spat.

Revitz was in town for a hip operation—he'd been shortchanged at birth and was insufficiently hip.

A hospital spokesclone stated the itinerant ex-alco was "incredibly lucky" in that he'd only suffered the full, pre-frontal Dealey Plaza headshot--in his case, a flesh wound.

Srevitz is scheduled to be released on parole next week.