Beat Me, Hurt Me, Make Me Write Bad Cheques

Three foreign legionnaires--a Jew, a Pole and an Arab--were to be flogged in the desert for dis- obeying orders.

Their sergeant, wishing to be impartial, asked each man if he would like anything applied to his back to help him sustain the ordeal of punishment.

The Pole said: "I am strong like bull! I need nothing!"

His wish was granted and he was whipped to within an inch of his life.

In reply to the same query, the Arab effused: "I desire death in the way that you desire life! I am as a host of millions--there is but one true god, Allah, Mohammed is his only prophet and I need nothing! Allahu Akbar!!"

He was whipped to the point where, weeping as an infant, he requested baptism by an ordained Baptist minister immediately. This wish too was granted.

The Jew, who had carefully observed both floggings, was asked what he would like on his back during the whipping.

He mulled it over a full second, looked the Sergeant in the eye and said: "I'll take the Arab."