Up Against The Fence

An elderly couple is sitting at a table in the best restaurant in D.C. The husband, hoping to make up with the politically resurgent missus and worried about recent revelations concerning foreign contributions to his bogus, jumped up charity foundation, leans over and says to the wife: "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind a certain nearby tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Oh yes," she replies, "I remember it well. Very well."

"Yeah, " he says, "Well how about we take a stroll over there again and we do it again for old time's sake?"

"Why Slick Willie, you old devil, I thought you'd given up on me...that sounds crazy!" Her eyes glaze slightly for a moment. "Crazy. But good."

The Secret Service man sitting in the next booth overhears their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers getting it on against a fence. Plus, it's my sworn duty to ensure their safety, I have no choice.

So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old woman lifts her skirt and the old geezer drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the geezer moves in.

Suddenly, they erupt into the most furious sex that the Secret Service man has ever seen.

This goes on for a good ten minutes while the loin-locked couple is howling, heaving, moaning, creaming.

Finally, they both collapse to the ground, barely breathing.

The Secret Service man is gobsmacked. It occurs to him he has learned something about life and old age he never even suspected before.

After half an hour lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle painfully to their feet and ever so carefully manage to get back into their clothes.

The Secret Service man is still watching and thinks to himself: This is incredible and, unprofessional as it may be, I've got to know what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me Sir and Madam, and pardon me for having observed you even though it's my sworn duty to ensure your safety. But that was something else! I've never seen anything like it! I gotta know--what's your secret?

Shaking, the old buzzard is barely able to reply.

"Fifty years ago, Floyd, that wasn't an electric fence."

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