HOW TO TALK TO A LIBERAL (IF YOU MUST) by Ann Coulter
When saying "here Fido---good dog" is not an option
OK, let's be clear on this: Coulter's latest little round of lib-bait-&-smash isn't an instruction manual, or even a primer on what a good American conservative can use as snappy comebacks & snarky rejoinders to liberal dunderheadedness, not at all.
It's like that Alien diplomacy primer back in the Golden Age (the 1950's): It's a cookbook.
A cookbook for serving up the peculiarly suicidal phylae known as the Genus Apologeticus Liberalis Americanus: the whiney, uber-politically correct American left-winger. Well done, baby.
And it's admirably civil, compared to my own little book dictating personal conversations with Liberals. How to talk to a Liberal? Easy:
*"I'd like fries with that."
*"Medium starch on the pants."
*"I'd like two tickets for the 8:30 show."
*"Put some real elbow grease into it!"
*"No, no, you're doing it all wrong---you need to use more tongue on the sole---it's not shiny enough!"
And so forth. By contrast, Coulter's wicked little polemic cooks, bastes, boils, friccasees, and sautees the bane of American political discourse: the community-college educated leftist/statist, a creature in vast supply today (free range, no less!) running wild chiefly in newsrooms, Hollywood watering holes, faculty lounges, and in general on the blasted heath of the brain-dead, intellectually starved steppe-lands of what remains of today's American academy.
Coulter's point is not anti-intellectual or ignorantly dismissive: "How to Talk to a Liberal" takes it as a given that the Liberal doesn't want real debate. He doesn't want to talk to you: he wants Power.
Make no mistake about it: the American Leftist, or, as he calls himself (to better hide his goatish hooves and curling horns) the "Liberal", is a tireless enemy of freedom. He has had a major hand in creating the lifeless, lustreless, boil-covered society through whose grey streets the majority of our quivering population is now forced to scuttle.
Think of what we've lost in ten years: having a cigar around the office to celebrate landing the Gorfingle account, having a nice cigar over a steak dinner at the Bull & the Bear, smoking ciggies in New York & El Lay bars, driving down the road with a Fuzzy Navel in one hand and your cellphone in the other, not worrying about the Gestapo pulling you over for not wearing a seatbelt, big dorsal finned roaring American cars built from Detroit steel that belch out black smoke and make grass die---God, man, you could go on forever.
The Left has. The New American Liberal Man, the weenie-less equivalent of the New Soviet Man, has no real spine. Look at most snivelling college leftists: they'd gladly hold their girlfriend's rapist's assault gear if they thought it would save 'em a beating. But for all that, the American Leftist has been pretty macho when it comes to 1)castrating Free Speech through endless PC speech codes; 2) gelding the Free Market through tireless promotion of big government and high taxes; and 3) gutting America's strength & standing in the World.
The Liberal, then---this counterfeit free-thinker!---is a cancer. He is a threat. He must not be debated. He must not have points ceded his way. He has no points to cede.
Dinesh D'Souza has rightly identified American leftist/liberlism as an Enemy at Home bent on the destruction of truly liberal western values: an enemy that must be destroyed, annihilated, his house burnt and the smoking ruins urinated on, and he must pass off this mortal coil to the weeping and wailing of his women (or same sex partners, considering the sort of thing we're talking about here). Figuratively speaking, of course.
Ann Coulter does that. She does it well. She's a kind of right-wing common sense Boadicea, struggling against the faceless, tireless, brainless tirades of a fumbling, dog stupid Liberal establishment. And I think she enjoys herself, which is why her books, while not life-changing, are still spiky loads of fun to read.
That's why her detractors loathe books like this: Ann Coulter makes the leftists dizzy with rage. The reason they rage!rage! is not because her opinions are subversive, but because she is a clever, brutally talented little artillery master of American scorn. She uses words like a spitting cobra uses venom.
Those who claim Coulter just adds to the incivility of American debate wilfully ignore the larger issue: American politics is necessarily uncivil because they made it that way. When you start using Politics as a truncheon, don't whine when someone shows up with a tac-nuke.
JSG
September 28, 2007
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