At this time of year and on the eve of the Eid festival to which we here at The Journal subscribe [Praise Jaysus--Ed.], we're pleased to run the little number from Captain Organ below, an inspiration to one and all in the context of yet another heartwarming anti-Zionist post-coital global subprime dhimmitudinal martyrdom credit crunch, Aloha Snackbar!™ (Organ, pictured right, continues as the world's longest living heart transplant donor.)
As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas.
She called on young Patrick Murphy. “Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?” she asked.
Patrick came to the head of the class and addressed all.
“Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass, we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then, all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.”
“Very nice Patrick,” beamed Ms. Jones. “Now, Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?”
Jimmy stood up in front of the class.
“ Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents!”
“Thank you so much, Jimmy.”
Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to exclude him from the fun, Ms Jones called on the lad.
“Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?
Isaac stood up at the head of the class.
“Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls and then drive over to his toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and then we sing 'Oh,What a Friend We Have in Jesus.' Then we fly to the Bahamas."
The Protocols of the Elders of Grimsby
Disease of the Year: CM
Stop the presses. We are just receiving word from Captain Organ....
Lazies and bubblegum, after fourteen minutes of intense debate, UMNO (Unauthorised Malaysian Nocturnal Orgasm) have officially designated 1958 as The Year of Canine Misogyny(CM)!
As dogs are haram, it will come as no surprise that mutts return the favor--in the female case--via the hundesreakzion pictured below.
N.B.: Male Bumiputera fall under the canine category of fire hydrant.
Jocop Factoid: Captain Organ is the first man since Sir Stamford Raffles to walk into a barber shop on the Malayan peninsula and ask for a hair-cut.
Bar Trick
Captain Organ sent this in from beautiful downtown KL. Normally, we don't (you should pardon the expression) blow the cover of our hard- working correspon- dents. In Captain Organ's case, we made an exception.
An Aussie crocodile hunter walked into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He put the crocodile up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this croc's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile hard on the top of its head.
The croc then opened his mouth and the man removed his widgy unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer.
"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blonde woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try it--just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle."
.jpg)
