Survivor, Texas-Style

In an attempt to bolster plummeting ratings, Rubert Murdoch's Fox TV is reported to be developing a Texas version of "Survivor," the popular TV show.

Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock. Each will be driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: "I voted for Obama. I'm gay. And I'm here to take your guns."

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Diplomatic Incident

Submitted in strictest kneed-to-know confidentiality by Col. Redass. Burn before reading.

The annual cocktail party at the British embassy is attended by everyone who is anyone on the diplomatic circuit. White ties and tails. The art of small talk is paramount. Drinking is watched carefully, for who knows who might be recruited for what purpose(s) and by whom?

Unfortunately, a Swiss functionary has been at the gin. He is talking to the Norwegian Ambassador.

“And what do you do at the Swiss Embassy?” inquires the Norwegian diplomat, visually treading conversational water, scanning the room for bigger fish to shmooze.

“I am the Naval Attaché, ” replies the Swiss functionary.

The Norwegian ambassador looks puzzled.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” the man from Oslo says. “You are landlocked in Switzerland. You don’t have a Navy. How could you be a Naval Attaché?”

“Norway has a Minister of Culture, doesn’t it?”