The Eleventh Husband

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband: "Please be gentle, darling. I'm still a virgin."

"What?" exclaimed the gobsmacked groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband No. 1 was a Sales Representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be."

"Husband No. 2 was in Software Services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function. But he said he'd look into it and get back with me."

"Husband No. 3 was from Field Services. He said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."

"Husband No. 4 was in Telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."

"Husband No. 5 was an Engineer. He understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement and design a new break-through methodology."

"Husband No. 6 was from Administration. He thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was in his job description or not."

"Husband No. 7 was in Marketing. Although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it."

"Husband No. 8 was a Psychiatrist. All he did was talk about it."

"Husband No. 9 was a Gynecologist. All he did was look at it."

"Husband No. 10 was a Stamp Collector. All he ever did was--Christ, I miss that guy...."

" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".

"That's wonderful, sweetheart," said the husband. "But why?"

"Because you're with the government. And this time I know I'm gonna get fucked."