Jack and Jill

"And this, Jack, is what I call my Life Ruiner™. "


Just before Jack married Jill, Jack's father took the bridegroom-to-be aside for a little fatherly advice.

"When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my trousers," he said. "I gave them to your mother and told her to put them on."

"When she did, they were enormous on her and she told me she couldn't possibly wear them, they were too large."

"Naturally, I told her. They're too big."

"Jack, ever since that day, we've never had a single problem. I wear the trousers in this family...and I always will!"

Jack took his father's advice to heart. As soon as he was alone with Jill after the ceremony, he did the same thing--he took off his trousers, handed them to Jill and told her to put them on.

With a shrug, Jill did as requested. Then, as expected, she said the trousers were too big and she couldn't wear them.

"Exactly," replied Jack, "I wear the trousers in this relationship and I always will. I don't want you to forget that."

Jill paused. Then she removed her knickers and handed them to Jack.

"Try these on," she said. So he tried them on but they were too small.

"I can't possibly get into your knickers," said Jack.

"Welcome to reality, you pompous piece o' shit," replied Jill.