Hope, AR in Her Soul

Senator Hillary Clinton and former Attorney General Janet Reno are having a girl-to-girl talk at Nobu's in Tribeca over sushi and grits when Hillary says, "I tell you, Janet, you're so fortunate not to have to put up with men wanting to have sex with you. I have to put up with Bill and there's no telling the last place he's put that little thing of his.”

Janet responds, "Hey, Hill--just because I'm butt-ugly doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome sexual advances."

Hillary asks, "Well then, as former Attorney General how do you deal with the problem?"

Janet replies, "Well, Hill, whenever I feel a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might, tense as hard as possible...and squeeze to break wind as loud and hard as I can."

That night, Bill is already asleep in bed with the lights out when Hillary slips into bed.

She can hear Bill start to stir in the unique fashion that signifies he’ll be needing quick action.

What with her vast experience, however, the junior Senator from New York has exercised the foresight to carefully bank gastro-intestinal deposits all day long, with no withdrawals.

She clenches her butt cheeks with all her might to gradually force out, then gently liberate unto the enclosed bedroom airspace, the most poisonous discharge this side of Council Bluffs.

Bill rolls over immediately.

"Janet? Is that you?"