The Protocols of the Elders of Grimsby

At this time of year and on the eve of the Eid festival to which we here at The Journal subscribe [Praise Jaysus--Ed.], we're pleased to run the little number from Captain Organ below, an inspiration to one and all in the context of yet another heartwarming anti-Zionist post-coital global subprime dhimmitudinal martyrdom credit crunch, Aloha Snackbar!™ (Organ, pictured right, continues as the world's longest living heart transplant donor.)


As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas.

She called on young Patrick Murphy. “Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?” she asked.

Patrick came to the head of the class and addressed all.

“Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass, we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then, all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.”

“Very nice Patrick,” beamed Ms. Jones. “Now, Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?”

Jimmy stood up in front of the class.

“ Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents!”

“Thank you so much, Jimmy.”

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to exclude him from the fun, Ms Jones called on the lad.

“Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?

Isaac stood up at the head of the class.

“Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls and then drive over to his toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and then we sing 'Oh,What a Friend We Have in Jesus.' Then we fly to the Bahamas."