Detroit Shocks With Bold Insourcing Move

JOCOP News Service, November 2, 2008
by David Marvin Mailer

Media pundits and the Association of Automotive Journalists That Missed The Detroit Meltdown In Its Entirety (AAJTMTDMIIE) were caught with their fender skirts down by the collective decision of GM, Ford and Chrysler to opt for bankruptcy, void all existing UAW contracts and insource all future labour from Bangladesh.

Meanwhile, automotive staff at "The Detroit Free Press" took their lives en masse in the editorial room, moving "The Times Literary Supplement" to note distinct parallels to a near-identical drama recounted in "The Tale of the 47 Ronin," said to have originally been inspired by the teachings of Yamaga Soko (1622-1685).

Rick Wagoner, CEO of GM, was said to be considering similar action in the event the brickies of Bangladesh refused to emigrate to Detroit under the auspices of graduate student visas within the next three business days.

"The anti-immigration crowd can go fuck themselves," Wagoner stated. "Far as I know, these guys are the only ones who can possibly save our ass."




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