We Reserve The Right To Serve Refuse to Anyone

Black dude walks into a bar with a chimpanzee and addresses the proprietor: "I'd like a Remy and 7 for myself, and the same for my feminine acquaintance here."

"Sir," replies the barkeep, "I regret to advise that although we cheerfully subscribe to each and every requirement of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and all amendments to and/or variations on same, counsel has determined that these guidelines apply exclusively to members of our own magnificent and financially well-informed species at the top of the food chain by our own self-proclamation, Homo Sapiens."

"I therefore regret to advise," concludes the barkeep, "that we will be unable to serve your guest, including any heirs or successors thereto. I'd be more than happy to serve you, though. That was a Remy and 7, right?"

"Never mind," replies the Homo Sapiens. "I couldn't do it to her, me drinking and her just sitting there watching with those big eyes."

With that, the Homo Sapiens and chimpanzee exit the bar and return to the hotel.

There, exercising all the inventive and adaptational techniques available to man, the black guy sets to work on his chimpanzee in a fury of determination to see her done right by.

He shaves her face, extends her hairline, applies a 2" thick layer of rouge to her face, paints her lips with a massive application of Crimson Reverie by Max Factor, fixes a sultry yet inchoate neo-bouffant platinum wig to her skull and finally drops a $2000 Oleg Cassini original over her head, allowing the magnificent gown to fall gracefully to the floor, suggesting in the most subtle of ways, the promise of her near-nuclear sexuality.

They return to the bar.

"Barkeep, we'd like two Remy and 7's, if you please."

"Certainly, Sir, coming right up." The bartender pours the drinks then sets them before the couple with a restrained flourish.

Then he walks down to the end of the bar where an alcohol-wracked shadow of an ex-cube farmer is drinking desperately and, coaxing a tumbler to a perfect sheen with a bar towel, says to the drunk: "I don't know what it is these days...but it seems like every time one of these Italian girls comes in, she's always with a black dude."

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