MEL GIBSON'S APOCALYPTO (WIDESCREEN EDITION) DVD
Bungle in the Jungle
Mel Gibson's feral little fever-dream "Apocalypto" is truly what you call heart-rending drama.
No, dummy. It's not a chick flick. I mean it's heart-rending if you're one of the prisoners that get hauled back to Tikal, painted bright blue, marched up the blood-soaked steps of some Mayan Temple, has his heart ripped out by the deranged & happy high priest of the Bat God, has his head lopped off, and for the cherry on top gets his headless corpse lobbed back down the ziggurat, way faster than he came up!
APOCA-SHORTO REVIEW: if you're looking for immersive, bracing & gorgeous, look no further than "Apocalypto" which convinced me American society is seriously missing that little something extra. That Little Something Extra being heart-ripping sacrifices. You know, for a good cause, like, uh, combating global warming. Check it out.
APOCA-LONGO REVIEW: To ascend to the top of the blood-drenched, gore-caked stone steps of the cinematic ziggurat of zaniness that is Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto," it's necessary to step back a bit, take a deep breath, put down that enemy warrior's heart, drop the statue of Camazotz and listen up: you gotta get down with Mad Mel first!
What do I mean by that? I mean quite simply that Mel's work has always orbited, well, Mel. Each of us is a work in progress (except for liberals, who are spat forth pristine & perfect from their mama's hairpouch), but the fun thing about Mel Gibson is how we can relate the Man to his Movies. Consider the Evolution of Mel:
Pulp Fiction Mel: the rangy, handsome Australian actor with a very identifiable Aussie accent, the lone wolf set against the arid, apocalyptic Outback of "Mad Max" and the "Road Warrior".
Big Budget Mel: here Mel got some Jesus. Wait, that came later. Here, Mel got some Big Budget Hollywood. He played the Edgy, Crazy, Suicidal, Hair-Trigger .45-eating cop in "Lethal Weapon," ying to Danny Glover's yang. Happily, Mel metamorphosed into something interesting, whereas Glover is known to whine about not being able to get a cab in Manhattan.
Serious Actor Mel: Serious! Thespian! Mel! Yes! Mel walked the boards as the most somber Prince, which gave him some heft and gravitas---and set him on the weird, somber, intriguing art which catapulted him into the bosom of Quetzalcoatl---without forcing him to find himself balding, poor and wrinkled, and still having to walk the boards as, I dunno, Polonius at age 67.
Director Mel: look, man, it's cool to be a Star: you've got, well I dunno, swimming pools. And Bel-Air. And 12-Martini lunches with production dudes. And mountains of coke on glass tables. And Spago! And LA's own Adam's Rib (for Stars): Star-Lets. But it gets old having to bow & scrape before old hairy (Jewish) crabby angry balding hideously wealthy (Jewish) movie producers.
So Mel turned out the poignant "Man without a Face," blew everybody away with "Braveheart," and really switched it up with "Passion of the Christ," essentially a snuff film featuring Jesus.
Dead Languages Director Mel: Dead Languages=Serious Business. OK, I cheated. "Passion" counts here; so does 'Apocalypto.' I hear his next is gonna be shot using English in LA.
And thus we come to MAD MEL yet again, only this time he's not walking the irradiated badlands of Australia firing shells at biker punks, but crawling and puking along the side of the Pacific Coast Highway, snarling epithets at Jews.
Anyway, "Apocalypto" is Mad Mel as Montezuma's revenge! It's a gore-caked period piece chock full of hungry jaguars, nekkid chicks, nekkid ziggurats, nekkid high priests with old man bajoobalies, a wife in a well, a rugrat in a well, extra-curricular cruel contests on the Pelota fields, and blood sacrifice.
It's even shot in ancient Mayan, which heightens the authenticity. I mean, imagine if Jaguar Paw was emoting in, say, San Fernando Valspeak? Wouldn't be the same. Besides, being shot in Mayan makes it more accessible to the largely Mayan audience watching it. Domo Arigato Mr. Apocalypto!
Don't get me wrong: it's an astonishing creation. For me, though, I think it was astonishing for the wrong reason: for hours thereafter I was in a kind of weird fugue or reverie, imagining myself clad in parrot feathers and a surplice of human ears and tongues and a crown made of an ocelot's jaw, my body painted, an avatar of Camazotz, tearing out the hearts of my sacrifices!
Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, the story.
"Apocalypto" tells the story of Jaguar Paw and his family, who live a life of near Edenic tranquility hunting the lands Paw's forefathers hunted for generations, until a bunch of nasty, smelly, greedy Jews come along and ruin everything!
Just kidding. Actually, Paw & Fils get dragooned by a Mayan hunting party (who took the injunction "BYOB" to a whole new level) and frogmarched to Tikal for fun and games. Actually, very little fun. Or games. Primarily Death.
And so we follow Jaguar Paw and his captured tribe to the great Mayan temple city where the Mayans are living with each other, and the Earth Mother, in harmony, save for the occasional heart ripping sacrifice---ah, multiculturalism!---until a band of nasty, smelly, greedy Jews come along and ruin it for everybody.
OK, kidding. Anyway, just like "Passion," "Apocalypto" is spare, brooding, beautiful and complete in itself. Director Mel has some magic in his fingers & in his camera lens.
And more to the point: Apocalypto demonstrates that while Man in the state of Nature may not be nasty, brutal & short, Man in the state of Civilization often means having to wear your Heart on your sleeve.
Literally.
No, dummy. It's not a chick flick. I mean it's heart-rending if you're one of the prisoners that get hauled back to Tikal, painted bright blue, marched up the blood-soaked steps of some Mayan Temple, has his heart ripped out by the deranged & happy high priest of the Bat God, has his head lopped off, and for the cherry on top gets his headless corpse lobbed back down the ziggurat, way faster than he came up!
APOCA-SHORTO REVIEW: if you're looking for immersive, bracing & gorgeous, look no further than "Apocalypto" which convinced me American society is seriously missing that little something extra. That Little Something Extra being heart-ripping sacrifices. You know, for a good cause, like, uh, combating global warming. Check it out.
APOCA-LONGO REVIEW: To ascend to the top of the blood-drenched, gore-caked stone steps of the cinematic ziggurat of zaniness that is Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto," it's necessary to step back a bit, take a deep breath, put down that enemy warrior's heart, drop the statue of Camazotz and listen up: you gotta get down with Mad Mel first!
What do I mean by that? I mean quite simply that Mel's work has always orbited, well, Mel. Each of us is a work in progress (except for liberals, who are spat forth pristine & perfect from their mama's hairpouch), but the fun thing about Mel Gibson is how we can relate the Man to his Movies. Consider the Evolution of Mel:
Pulp Fiction Mel: the rangy, handsome Australian actor with a very identifiable Aussie accent, the lone wolf set against the arid, apocalyptic Outback of "Mad Max" and the "Road Warrior".
Big Budget Mel: here Mel got some Jesus. Wait, that came later. Here, Mel got some Big Budget Hollywood. He played the Edgy, Crazy, Suicidal, Hair-Trigger .45-eating cop in "Lethal Weapon," ying to Danny Glover's yang. Happily, Mel metamorphosed into something interesting, whereas Glover is known to whine about not being able to get a cab in Manhattan.
Serious Actor Mel: Serious! Thespian! Mel! Yes! Mel walked the boards as the most somber Prince, which gave him some heft and gravitas---and set him on the weird, somber, intriguing art which catapulted him into the bosom of Quetzalcoatl---without forcing him to find himself balding, poor and wrinkled, and still having to walk the boards as, I dunno, Polonius at age 67.
Director Mel: look, man, it's cool to be a Star: you've got, well I dunno, swimming pools. And Bel-Air. And 12-Martini lunches with production dudes. And mountains of coke on glass tables. And Spago! And LA's own Adam's Rib (for Stars): Star-Lets. But it gets old having to bow & scrape before old hairy (Jewish) crabby angry balding hideously wealthy (Jewish) movie producers.
So Mel turned out the poignant "Man without a Face," blew everybody away with "Braveheart," and really switched it up with "Passion of the Christ," essentially a snuff film featuring Jesus.
Dead Languages Director Mel: Dead Languages=Serious Business. OK, I cheated. "Passion" counts here; so does 'Apocalypto.' I hear his next is gonna be shot using English in LA.
And thus we come to MAD MEL yet again, only this time he's not walking the irradiated badlands of Australia firing shells at biker punks, but crawling and puking along the side of the Pacific Coast Highway, snarling epithets at Jews.
Anyway, "Apocalypto" is Mad Mel as Montezuma's revenge! It's a gore-caked period piece chock full of hungry jaguars, nekkid chicks, nekkid ziggurats, nekkid high priests with old man bajoobalies, a wife in a well, a rugrat in a well, extra-curricular cruel contests on the Pelota fields, and blood sacrifice.
It's even shot in ancient Mayan, which heightens the authenticity. I mean, imagine if Jaguar Paw was emoting in, say, San Fernando Valspeak? Wouldn't be the same. Besides, being shot in Mayan makes it more accessible to the largely Mayan audience watching it. Domo Arigato Mr. Apocalypto!
Don't get me wrong: it's an astonishing creation. For me, though, I think it was astonishing for the wrong reason: for hours thereafter I was in a kind of weird fugue or reverie, imagining myself clad in parrot feathers and a surplice of human ears and tongues and a crown made of an ocelot's jaw, my body painted, an avatar of Camazotz, tearing out the hearts of my sacrifices!
Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, the story.
"Apocalypto" tells the story of Jaguar Paw and his family, who live a life of near Edenic tranquility hunting the lands Paw's forefathers hunted for generations, until a bunch of nasty, smelly, greedy Jews come along and ruin everything!
Just kidding. Actually, Paw & Fils get dragooned by a Mayan hunting party (who took the injunction "BYOB" to a whole new level) and frogmarched to Tikal for fun and games. Actually, very little fun. Or games. Primarily Death.
And so we follow Jaguar Paw and his captured tribe to the great Mayan temple city where the Mayans are living with each other, and the Earth Mother, in harmony, save for the occasional heart ripping sacrifice---ah, multiculturalism!---until a band of nasty, smelly, greedy Jews come along and ruin it for everybody.
OK, kidding. Anyway, just like "Passion," "Apocalypto" is spare, brooding, beautiful and complete in itself. Director Mel has some magic in his fingers & in his camera lens.
And more to the point: Apocalypto demonstrates that while Man in the state of Nature may not be nasty, brutal & short, Man in the state of Civilization often means having to wear your Heart on your sleeve.
Literally.
September 28, 2007
.
.jpg)
