You Say Geriatric, I Say Geriatrix

On a semantic note, the Editorial Board has determined that if the feminine counterpart of 'aviator' is 'aviatrix" (cf. the traditional "Happy Landings to You, Amelia Earheart"), then for the purposes of pioneering genderially correct standard English in this publication, the female equivalent of the standard "geriatric" is "geriatrix." This term has accordingly been incorporated into the relevant subsection of our mission statement as an integral part of our unending quest to glossographically cleanse the internet.

Meanwhile, Hugh Jorgen has drawn our attention to an article in last month's issue of our sister publication, The New England Journal of Medical Science, in which they announce the two (3) definitive signs of menopause:

1. you change your underwear after a sneeze; and
2. you’ve just sold your home heating system at a yard sale.

As a matter of interest, in a footnote on page 4 of the article, the authors offer a working definition of the generic term "old," viz. that condition to which the following colloquial and/or anecdotal conditions pertain:

1. going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face;
2. "getting a little action" means you don't need fiber today;
3. "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot;
4. an "all-nighter" means not getting up during the night to urinate; and
   
5. you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.