New Mobile Telephone Legislation

The Journal draws the readership’s attention to the following article from The Washington Post (more competitors--total assholes) on an urgent basis, particularly as so many of our subscribers are Young People™.

No More Calling in Cars for VirginiaTeens
By Tim Craid and Amy Orndorff
Washington Post Staff Writers
Saturday, June 30, 2007; Page B01

RICHMOND, June 29 -- Three laws aimed at improving highway safety -- including a ban on teenagers under 18 using their cellphones while driving -- go into effect Sunday in Virginia.

The cellphone ban, one of several dozen new laws approved by the General Assembly that will take effect Sunday, prohibits drivers age 15, 16 and 17 from talking, sending text messages or snapping photos with a phone while driving on Virginia roads. The ban also will apply to hands-free devices but will allow teens to use a phone during an emergency, such as if someone thinks he or she is being followed.

[Remainder of article meaningless. --Ed.]

As a public service, The Journal offers the following infotainment offer forwarded by Padraic O’Cossett, our Gaza Bureau Chief and Assistant to the Comptroller of Hamas PCL™.

Changes in Cell Phone Use Legislation

In a lightning-like, shock and awe effort to meet our customers' requirements under the new cell phone law, O'Cossett-Hamas Telecommunications PLC™ (OHT) have just completed a visit to the corporate headquarters of a major consumer electronics chain with global distribution facilities.

In researching hardware which would meet or exceed the new requirements, OHT have determined that the lowest price for a headset cum microphone unit, compatible with the major cell phone sets conforming to the requirements of the new legislation, is $51.47.

Taking advantage of extensive contacts in the wholesale end of the cellphone industry, OHT are pleased to announce they have negotiated procurement and retailing of alternative hardware configuration(s) which would meet the requirements of the relevant statute at a much lower price.

As a service to the small and medium "enterprise" community, OHT are making these units available on a first-come, first-served basis for only US$3.57 (Gaza residents, please include 692% jihad tax).

That's right. Only US$3.57!

This price is possible as a result of huge synergies, unbelievable economies of scale, LIFO (last-in, first-out) warehousing and distribution techniques, RORO (roll-on, roll-off) transport and logistical support and sharia-level quality control guidelines rigidly adhered to throughout the production sequence.

These kits have been fully tested for compatibility with all cellphone models including Motorola, Nokia, Siemens, Sprint, Verizon, DoCoMo and SonyEricsson. The units perform explosively.

A photo is attached. Please advise if you would be interested in one of these units at this low low price. This offer good until the end of the week only.

To see photo, please left click on→X