Chaste Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire

According to spokesperson Angela Van Dyke of the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year.

However male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring.

It follows that, according to all historical renditions of Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, necessarily had to be female.

Only women could manage the circumnavigation of a drunk in a red velvet suit without getting lost.