Dry Feet

This stirring testimonial from David Marvin Mailer, The Journal's Far East Transpastic Bureau Chief, pictured right, speaks volumes to the terminally decrepit, those suffering the daily agony of eutrophic hemorrhoids, empowered diverticulitis and parking lot dysphoria, yet even now still await the opening of an NGO dedicated to their needs and desires, for once.

Dear Jocop,

Today I walked into the chemist's to buy some Viagra--sildenafil citrate.

"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?" I inquired.

"I can cut them for you," said the chemist, "but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection. "

"I am a hundred years old," I replied. "I don't want an erection. I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers."


Yours in Christ,

Mailer