Golden Years

This poignant reflection was discovered by accident in the clenched fist of The Journal's Subprime Colo-Rectal Bypass Bureau Chief, Michael Edward Rashoff, a recent recipient of the Pullet Surprise for Best Forgotten Shopping List of 2001 and a candidate for Obituary of the Year.

Maybe it's just me, but I seem to have aged somewhat these past few years.

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes and I'm half blind.

I can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine.

I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, flatulent and subject to blackouts.

I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore and don't remember if I'm 85 or 92.

I've lost all my friends--

All I can say is--Thank God I've still got my driver's licence.

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