Righteous Street Rage

This moving first-hand IslamoColonic -derivated testimonial comes to us from our Senior Alzheimer Refinance Home Equity Bureau Chief, Mike Rashoff, to whom the BSA recently awarded his 300th merit badge for solipsist/post-senile navigation of parking lots.

Working people frequently ask us retired old fucks what we do to make our days interesting.

Well, as an example, the other day I went downtown and walked into the drugstore to get ripped off bigtime by Big Pharma.

I was only in there for five minutes but when I came out, what did I see but a police orifice writing out a parking ticket.

I walked straight up to him and said, "Come on, man, how's about giving a retiree a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

So I called him a "Nazi."

He took a long, cold look at me through blank reflective sunglass lenses that reminded me of the roadgang bosses in Cool Hand Luke.

Then he wrote me another ticket for having worn tires.

So then I called him a "doughnut-eating, gash-gobbling Fascist."

He nodded almost imperceptibly, finished writing the second ticket and carefully placed it under the windshield wiper blade along with the first.

Then he wrote a third ticket.

This went on another ten minutes.

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I guess he must have written a total of 15 tickets, they were thickly wadded up against the surface of the windshield.

Personally, I didn't care one way or the other except to the extent that I'd come downtown on the bus and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary '08."