Waterboard Editorial: Eternal Verities

During this period of monetary paralysis, revived international Islamist PR campaigns, overnight evisceration of 401(¿que?)'s, penury without recourse to bankruptcy, societal implosion of vaginally reliable vacation venues, shot-down FICO scores, enhanced credit card interest charges, transexual erectile dysfunction and early onset constipation in the context of a hitherto unremarked prune crop failure, it may be well to turn once again to those eternal verities which have always sustained us during times of national trial--shopping and hard-core pornography.

Whereby we may succour one another [Looking for a nice sale/punitive leaseback on a condo in Boca? --Ed.] to take consolation from that solace which derives exclusively from a return to those great ontological Truths which yet lie just beneath the thin veneer of our civilization that must nevertheless sustain us during this time of cataclysmic national challenge to the survival of the Republic-- abandoned strip malls, E-coli laden fast food, melamine-laced yoghurt and J&J's new, improved KY™/No. 3 grit formulation, now on sale at a pharmacy near you.




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