Homo Sap

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana when he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty: "Talking Dog For Sale." He pulls up to the shack, rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy walks around to the backyard and sees a handsome Labrador Retriever standing there.

"You talk?" the man inquires.

"I give it my best shot," the lab replies.

The guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk and manages to inquire: "Uh, so what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says: "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. Naturally, I wanted to make a contribution to Homo Sapiens, a dog's best friend, so I decided to go to work for the U.S. government--I joined the CIA."

"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies, has-been actors, world leaders: no one ever figured a dog would be eavesdropping."

"I was their most valuable agent for eight years running. But the air travel really took it out of me and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible conspiracies, mostly involving airline employees, and was awarded a batch of medals."

"Finally, I got married, had a mess of puppies. Now I'm just retired."

Jezuz H. Christ, thinks the human guy to himself. He heads back into the shack and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," replies the owner.

"Ten dollars??!! This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him for ten lousy bucks?"

"Because he's nothin' but a goddam liar. He never did any of that shit."

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