Wooden Dollars

1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries and a diet coke.

5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America do they leave cars costing huge bucks in the driveway because the garage is full of worthless junk.

7. Only in America do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America do they use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsuckers.'

10. Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger and/or AWOL live in the White House. (Slick Willie/W. era.)

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