The Fairway Sex

For the record, our Left Coast Bureau Chief, Hugh Jorgen, would like it to be known he does not now nor has he ever played the game of golf. He has other things to do with his balls.

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Emergency Room doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when, at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture."

"We went to look for them and, while I was searching, I noticed one of the cows had something white in its, er, rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it--stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt!"

"Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife: 'Hey, Marge! This looks just like yours!'"

"After that, it's pretty much blank--"