The Widow Rancher

As Executive Vice-President for Geriatric Hunh? Mike Rashoff has sexual predilections which naturally tend toward the malleable in the encroaching twilight of accelerated senescence, concupiscent vertigo and a recent "Alzchies" incident in which certain species not necessarily his own were involved. The wife knows all about it--he's insured to the hilt--anything goes wrong at the hot sheet motel with roadkill while ripped on sildenafil citrate?

Hey. Payday.

The successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch but knew little about ranching so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was a drunk. The other was gay.

The widow thought long and hard about it and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay ranch hand, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was again thriving.

Finally, one Saturday afternoon, the widow said "You've done a great job, Ralph. The ranch looks great. Go on into town and kick up your heels."

Ralph readily agreed. It was Saturday night and he drove into town.

He returned at 2:30am and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my stockings."

He removed each stocking gingerly and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra."

Again, with trembling hands Ralph did as he was told and dropped the undergarment to the floor.

Then she looked him straight in the eye and said: "Goddammit, Ralph, if you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."