Support Larry

In conjunction with the Bumfuck Jaycees and the local chapter of the Idaho Log Cabin Republicans, the Editorial Board—native Idahoes all—has voted unanimously to co-sponsor an “Evening for Larry” next Saturday night at the Holiday Inn.

Larry--Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho)—will make a personal appearance and grace the crowd with his rendition of Vesti la Giubba as performed by Alberto Gonzales, followed by a stirring attack on the liberace news media biased against Gay Old Party stalwarts via innuendo.

The Bumfuck branch of the statewide Supporters United against Craig Kickers (SUCK) will host an open bar from 0600-2000 hours in the Men’s Room with a full buffet located adjacent to the shitters for diners’ convenience. A door prize will be awarded to the winner of a recital in which participants will compete in either Rimsky- Korsakov’s world-renowned “Flight of the Bumble Bee” on the skinflute. Or the traditional “Slobber Blues” on the meatwhistle.

The Board regretfully announces David Marvin Mailer will not be authorized for participation on the grounds his constitutionally guaranteed species-preference will not be represented. The Journal has been advised Mailer is in touch with his attorneys in connection with potential litigation.