The Old Man and the Tomatoes

After a freezing Jersey winter, it was nearly spring and the old Italian, living alone, wanted to get started on his tomatoes. But the earth was hard and his son, Vincent, who had helped him in previous years was not available to help his father on account of he was doing life for conspiracy to commit murder.

One morning when he could feel the earth stir, the old man suddenly took up pen and paper and wrote his son a letter:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.

Love,

Papa

A few days later the old man received a letter from his son:

Dear Pop,

Don't dig up the garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 o'clock the next morning, six FBI agents, 13 deputy sheriffs, 24 city police and 11 media vans full of technicians and star reporters arrived at the old man's house, accompanied by a backhoe, klieglights and bloodhounds.

They started digging at one end of the back yard, found nothing, then continued excavation thoughout the day. They dug up the entire back yard, the front yard, everything surrounding the house. They found nothing. They apologized to the old man for his trouble and departed.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,

Vinnie