Hugh Jorgen Writes

The Journal's defrocked Left Coast Bureau Chief, Hugh Jorgen, shown right, currently under indictment for Crimes Against Humor© and now living a life of sildenafil-citrate fuelled Senile Democracy™, has forwarded the missive below in an unctuous attempt to insinuate himself back into the good graces of the Editorial Waterboard.

The Board would merely refer to the night deposit he left in Stall C (wide stancers only) immediately adjacent to the Log Cabin Buffet in the Mens' Shitter just down the hall from the Rheum Room.

Starring Larry Craig.


Dear Jocop,

In an attempt to fulfill the 12-step programme that will, my therapist advises me, eventuate my ultimate return to the Editorial Waterboard and a new start at the only way of life capable of rendering my otherwise meaningless existence tolerable, I have just read an article on the dangers of drinking.

You can believe me when I tell you, it scared the living bejezuz outta this cowpoke.

Please be advised, therefore, that from here on in--that's it.

No more reading.

In nomine patrius et fillii et spiritus sancti,

Hugh Jorgen