Chicken Tikka Masala Burger

It was the first day of the new school year in the USA for the new Indian student, Chandrasekhar Jawaharwal Patel. The teacher had introduced him to the fourth grade class, taking great care to get his name right, and had then assigned him a desk in the middle of the classroom.

The teacher then launched the term by saying, "Why don't we begin by reviewing some American History so we can all get an idea of where we are with the subject."

"OK," she began, "who said 'Give me Liberty or give me Death!'?"

A desolate sea of bloated tv and computer-ravaged countenances stared back at her.

Except for Chandrasekhar. Who had his hand up.

“Patrick Henry,1775,” he said.

“Very good, Chandrasekhar!” exclaimed the teacher.

"Now--who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People shall not perish from the Earth.'?”

Again, no response--except from Chandrasekhar.

“Abraham Lincoln, 1863,” said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is just arrived in our country, knows more about its history than you do!”

She heard a loud whisper: “Aw fuck a bunch o' Indians....”

"Who said that?' she demanded in an outraged voice.

Chandrasekhar put his hand up: “General George Armstrong Custer, 1862.”

At that point, a student in the back said, “I'm think I'm gonna puke.”

The teacher scanned the room of unfamiliar faces trying to place the source of this remark.

“All right, you spoiled little shits! Who said that!?”

Again Chandrasekhar spoke up: “George H. W. Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, another student actually stood up, clutching his crotch, and yelled: “Oh yeah? Well suck on this!”

Chandrasekhar jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher: “Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

With the class now in total mob/loot/lynch mode, a manacing pre-pubescent voice came from the back of the room: “You little sonofabitch! If you say another word, I'll kill you!”

Chandrasekhar jumped up and shrieked: “Michael Jackson, to one of the child witnesses testifying against him! 2004!”

The teacher fainted.

As the class gathered around the floored educator, someone said, “Oh Geezuz...we're really fucked now!"

Quietly easing himself toward the door of the classroom for his own safety, Chandrasekhar muttered the answer under his breath: "Native-born Americans with stock market investments and public school educations. 2008."

.