Golden Saloon

A wageslave stumbles home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his wife who is most definitely not happy.

"Where the HELL have you been all night?" she demands.

"At this new bar!" he slurs. "The Golden Saloon! Everything there is golden! It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor and even the urinal's gold!"

The wife doesn't believe this story at all.

The next day she checks the phone book, finding to her surprise a place across town called the Golden Saloon.

She calls up the gin mill to check her husband's story.

"Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

"Yes ma'am, it is," the bartender answers.

"Do you have huge golden doors?"

"Yes ma'am, we sure do."

"Do you have golden floors?"

"Most certainly do."

"What about golden urinals?"

There's a long pause.

Then the wife hears the bartender yelling: "Hey, Dexter! I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your sax last night!"

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Good Samaritan

A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk.

Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep." "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep." When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep."

Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So he opened the first door he came to after they'd reached the second floor and shoved him through it, then went back downstairs.

However when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep." "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep." So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs.

Where there was yet another drunk. Naturally, he approached the dipsomaniac to give assistance. But before he could reach the man, the drunk leapt up and staggered over to a policeman and cried: "Please officer, protect me from this man! He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"

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