In nomine patrius, filii et spiritus sancti

I think I speak for each and every member of the Editorial Board when I say what a pleasure it is to post a message from David Marvin Mailer which reflects, not the schizoid perversions of a highly disturbed parallel universe, but rather the passionate devotion of a man pursuing the etiological vision of a personal godhead.

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish.

They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with the male organ?"

She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."

St. Peter says,"Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question. "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with the male organ?"

The girl is a little reluctant but finally replies: "Well, once I fondled and stroked one...."

St. Peter says, "Alright, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden, there's a commotion in the queue. One of the girls is madly pushing her way to the head of the line.

When she reaches the front, St.Peter says, "Reeva, what seems to be the rush?"

"If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I wanna do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."