Lack of Respect

The Editorial Board herewith advise that our Perversion and Obituary Science Correspondent, David Marvin Mailer, is now placed on probation and faces disciplinary action such as castration. Mailer is perfectly aware of The Journal's long-standing and continuing support for the Commander-in-Chief and we will brook no further disrespect in this regard and would merely remind Mailer of his own dictum [sic]: "Obscenity is the linguistic crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker." Which, as irrevelant to this matter as it may be, serves to remind that it is only out of our commitment to a free press and the 10th Amendment to The Prostitution that we publish inflammatory, seditious and seriously anti-Republican rubbish of this ilk just one more time.