Birdy Num Num

On a whim, a soccer mom walked into a pet shop and spotted a large, incredibly beautiful parrot. The sign on the cage said "$50."

"Why so little?" she inquired of the pet store owner.

The owner replied, "Madam, I am obliged to inform you that this bird used to reside in a house of ill-repute. From time to time, he may be wont to utter the socially untoward."

The woman thought about this a moment but then decided the bird was just too good to pass up and she had to have him.

She took the parrot home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room.

The bird scanned the room, looked at her and said: "New house, new madam."

The woman was slightly put off by the implication but then thought 'Well, that's colorful and not really that bad....'

When her two teenage daughters returned home from school, the parrot sized them up and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The members of the fair sex were taken aback at this. But they too reconsidered and even burst into laughter somewhat naughtily, considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work and walked through the front door.

The bird took one look at him.

"Keith, you horny bastard--how's it hangin' tonight?"