Curriculum Vitae

S. Revitz once headed up the Amsterdam office of the personnel and recruiting division of your standard grim, monolithic, totalitarian, unfree-market-driven, zero-laughter- tolerant multinational devoted solely to the selfless search for resources to meet the humanitarian requirements of its customers with no thought whatsoever given to executive salary and benefit packages, stock options, golden parachutes and/or Al Qaeda™ golf club dismembership fees. Amsterdam is gone now, as are those once-omnipotent multinationals--all absorbed into infinitely larger enterprises of a more confidentially efficient, infinitely more civic-minded and ever so slightly less transparent ownership (Carlyle).

But Srevitz is still out there and he kept this job application:


Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper.


I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent b e to complicaited I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb

[Left-click on X --Ed.]