You Swine

A farmer had five female pigs.

Times were hard so he had no choice but to take them to the county fair and sell them.

At the fair, he ran into another farmer who owned five male pigs.

After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.

The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they agreed to drive thirty miles each and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs rose at 5AM, loaded the sows into the family station wagon--the only vehicle he possessed--and drove the thirty miles.

While the pigs were mating, he inquired of the other farmer, "How will I know if they're pregnant?"

The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."

The next morning the pigs were rolling maniacally in the mud. So the sow farmer hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.

This continued each morning for ten days--without success.

On the morning of the eleventh day, the hog farmer was simply too tired to get out of bed.

He called to his wife: "Hon! Have a look outside and tell me whether the hogs are in the mud or in the grass!"

"Neither!" yelled the missus.

"Where are they then?"

"They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."