End to a Conundrum

The Executive Waterboard is proud, after endless argumentation and bibulous invective, including a hard left hook to the solar plexus of the Managing Editor, to announce a dramatic breakthrouth from the heuristic end of the bar at the Bumfuck Holiday Inn Rheum Room.

After years of bootless investigation into this gut-wrenching philological impasse, The Waterboard has arrived at the definitive answer to a seemingly insoluble riddle which has haunted mankind since the dawn of time and remains the still-classified cause of World War I.

For the record, Michael Edward Rashoff was drinking Costco Scotch with a sildenafil citrate spritzer back at the moment of revelation.


A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning back against the headboard, smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on his face.

The egg, looking disgusted, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says:

"Well, I guess we finally answered that question, you sonofabitch."

.