For God So Loved The World

A burglar broke into a house one night. He scanned the room with his flashlight, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark spoke:

"Jesus knows you're here."

He nearly jumped out of his skin. He doused the flashlight immediately, then froze.

When he'd heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head to clear his mind, then continued searching with the flashlight.

Just as he'd pulled the stereo out a bit so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard:

"Jesus is watching you."

Panicked, he shone the light around the room frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his light came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yes. Yes I did," the parrot confessed, then squawked. "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me? You're a goddamned bird. Who are you to warn me?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses!?" the burglar laughed. "What the fuck kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

.