Do I Know You?

From S. Revitz in Portagee....

A suburban type is in the supermarket when he sees a beautiful blonde in the produce section waving at him, mouthing a bright ‘Hello!’

He’s taken aback because he can’t place her or where she’s from. So he walks over to her and says, “Do I know you?”

She replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Totally panicked, he thinks back to the only time he’d ever been unfaithful to his wife. “My god,” he blurts, “are you the stripper from that bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my ass with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?”

“No,” she replies, “I’m your son’s math teacher.”