The Semantics of Pharmacology

S. Revitz reports as below, for informational purposes only. On a personal basis, he knows nothing--rien, nichts, nada, zilch, not a goddamned thing.

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name.

For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen; Amoxil is also known as Amoxicillin; and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

Meanwhile, the FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and, of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to traditional terms such as "cocktail" and "highball," not to mention the good old-fashioned "stiff drink."

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of Mount & Do.

The latest marketing research reveals that there is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and no recollection at all of what they're for.